All Episodes

Two of the letters I received this week both involve handling the new in family functioning. In the first letter, Adam's parents are aghast by 2 yr old Benjy is dealing with newborn brother Adam. I encourage these folks to look at Benjy's behavior not as problematic, but rather as symptomatic. In the second letter, mom is feeling underappreciated as her brood gripe about getting ready for the new school year at summer's end. Active listening, followed by family problem-solving does the trick.

Birthdays at any age are about feeling special and doing something fun. Sometimes, however, things come up and we are thrown into a birthday quandry. In the first letter, mom is hurt and confused when her son is not invited to a neighborhood child's birthday party. I help her navigate that social sleight. In the second letter, best friends have the same birth date and have always celebrated their birthday party jointly. This year, however, they want separate parties. Is this about wanting to feel more special, or is it something else. I help mom encourage her daughter to wonder what else is going on and where this request came from.

As parents, we have lots of opportunity to discipline, teach, and remind our kids. But do we routinely show them kindness? In Scripture, Proverbs 22:6 states, "Raise your children up in the ways of the Lord so that, when they grow old, they will not depart from Him." That's a tall order, but with life-changing impact. By all means remind, teach, and discipline your kids, but also add moments of positivity, praise, and acts of kindness. That's the legacy worth passing on to them.

In this first letter, the writer is having frustration carrying all of the parenting load. I give her steps to help hubby get on board and help out more. In the second letter, mom wonders why her punishment of her child seems to do no good on his behavior. Help your child make good choices, rather than use his power with siblings. Trade in "punishment" for "natural consequences."

My first mom wrote me about wrenching guilt when she wanted "me-time" away from her kids. All of us need me-time. Your options are not either/or, but rather both/and. Creative problem-solving with the kids helps all of you win. The second letter is from a family whose summer plans have been upended by job loss and limited funds. Take time to put together a family meeting where you can share the load and brainstorm ideas for having summer fun with limited expense. Keeping the lines of communication open with your kids is always the path to emotional intimacy, cooperation, and bonding.

Transitioning from school year to summer schedule can be challenging for some families. In this first letter, mom laments that their vacation planning is "never good enough" for the kids, who complain regardless. Including the kids in the planning process always goes a long way. In the second letter, mom is frantic to corral her brood after school is out for the summer. Taking account of structure, supervision, and accountability makes for smooth sailing through summer activities.

The first letter is from a parent who is concerned about whether her child's nail-biting behavior is symptomatic of anxiety. What exactly is stress? My second letter is from a parent who asks if there is such a thing as mental health wellness checkups for the family. What great questions. Check out this podcast to see how I answer them. Blessings, Dr. Jon

Starting school and starting the teen years are two troubled times for all kids. Parents are tasked with helping them navigate these difficult terrains. In the first letter for today, I heard from a mom who wants tips on helping a good teen keep up the good work in school. Praise and revising homework patterns come to mind. In the second letter, the mom of a 5 year old victim of bullying in kindergarten is frantic to stop her child from being bullied. Practicing helpful confrontation and also asking the classroom teacher to have the guidance counselor give an anti-bullying presentation to the class will go a long way toward keeping her precious away from bullying.

Both letters today are about making birthdays special for our kids. In the first, the parents set up a "free pass" birthday rule, where Alex was not punished for any rule infractions, but only on his birthday. Is this a good idea, a good way to make his birthday special? In the second letter, mom wants to know how to handle kid sister who expects to be a part of her big sister's sleepover birthday celebration, when big sister is saying "no way." Can mom find a win-win solution that makes the birthday celebration special for both children?

My first letter addresses adolescent issues with your teen who is really a good student, but seems to be slacking. Considering new homework rules and using the Principle of Responsible Freedom is the ticket. For my second letter, we switch to a petite 5 year old victim of bullying in her kindergarten class. Active listening, role-play, and proactive parenting will equip her to handle the bullying. Have other questions? Email me and I'll respond, both personally and on air. Blessings.

While kids usually accept that they have to go to school, they don't always want to. Even natural transitions can make going to school tough. In the first letter, a mom asks questions about whether and how to get her twins off to preschool. Following that letter, a desperate mom is frantic about her middle schooler's meltdown. Navigating these tough times with our kids is what being there for them is all about.

Being a new parent is the toughest job any of us ever have, for which we have NO training. With just our own parents for reference, we usually want to be just like them, or nothing like them. Navigating nighttime for newborns can be exhausting. Here, I offer some tips.
 
A basic questions all families face is this. Who's in charge? If you don't clearly define that you are in charge, your kids will run rough shod until you take control. Securing rules, boundaries, roles, and expectations is a start. Reward and consequence systems follow and families can be comforting and run smoothly for all.

Two letters I selected typify extremes of the spectrum. In the first, parents want to get back to their lives after being vaccinated. In the second, a little boy is devastated when his best friend is hospitalized. Being creative but cautious is the theme in each of these letters. While we can't let COVID-19 control our lives, we do need to take every precaution.

How to put together a fun birthday party for a 5 year old during the pandemic can stretch your creativity. This young mom of 3 preschoolers has her hands full. What could be available options? Next, a 13 year old young teen is bummed by the pandemic restrictions which, in her words, "suck." Helping her get out of her funk is the challenge. Do you have parenting questions for me? Email me.

More letters on parenting issues. My first mom is really concerned about her spiralling son whose senior year in high school is crashing because of the pandemic. Some thoughts, but also helping her consider getting him into therapy if things don't improve soon. Another letter is from "Freaked" who frets over balancing the needs and demands of her family, as they all stay-at-home. Encoourage detailed scheduling and balancing me-time with family demands.