Being there for your kids

Not too hard, not too soft, but connected, just right parenting

Do we want power or relationship with our kids? When you come off as dominant, my way or the highway, you parent by fear, not by relationship. When you are too submissive and buddy buddy, you do so much for your child that they never learn how to do for themselves. As a benevolent despot, you have the earned authority of relationship, without having to use raw power, you direct the family according to everyone's needs and feelings, and you teach your children how to do for themselves.

Family Meetings -- Planning at its Best

Family meetings can be a great way to get everyone involved, and invested in, planning things the family does together. It could be the mundane, like dividing up a chore list, or the exciting, like planning a family vacation. As parents use active listening, productive confronting, and a big dose of pride and encouragement, everybody contributes and each comes away with something that works for them.

As parents, our words are important

Children notice not only what we say but also how we say it. Verbal and nonverbal go together. When they need confrontation, challenge the behavior, not the child. When they need active listening and empathy, avoid the common errors of judging, criticizing, and offering solutions. Help your child become responsible for their words and actions and help them find solutions that are workable and that work for them.

Children will test the limits!

It's not a maybe. It's not just bad kids. It's an imperative. All children will test the limits every chance they get. Why? to be sure the limit is in place. When children are in charge, that is, when there are no limits on their behavior, the result is excessive fear and anxiety. Do you want your child calm and collected? Give them limits on their behavior.

Active Listening -- A Parent's Go-To Tool

When we take a foreign language in school, we can spend years studying it and still not be fluent. That's because we are not immersed in the language and we have to think before we speak. Active listening, for parents, is kind of a foreign language. It's a way to help kids come to terms with their feelings and then joining with them to help them solve their own problems. While solving our kids' problems for them can be a short-term fix, it deprives our children of the process by which they are best able to solve their own problems.  When you are hard-wired to problem-solve with your children, take a breath and first active listen their feelings.

Tools for Beating Depression

When depression is organic or genetic, treatment may require medication. When depression is situational or reactive, you can beat it with these two simple tools.

Mindful Parenting

How often do you get to savor the moment? Most folks talk about how angelic their child looks when he is sleeping. Wouldn’t you also like to savor the moment when he is awake. Mindful parenting puts you in a place to do just that.

Teenage angst — Dealing with Hormones

Every teen (and actually, all of us) deals with the impact of hormones. The mood changes, attitude, and body changes all take their toll. Instead of thinking of hormones as a bad thing, let’s call them power surges, and consider them as preparation for greater things in life. Helping your teen navigate through these power surges will ease stress and create teachable moments for them.

How does your teen become an adult?

As parents, our ultimate goal is to launch our teens as independent, responsible, socially-conscious persons into adulthood. This podcast gives you a glimpse into the trials, tribulations, joys, blessings of a launch well done.

What’s Your Child’s Sign?

We all are born with a sign around our necks. What it becomes over time is a function of how we are treated by those who love us. What’s the sign around your child’s neck?