Being there for your kids

Starting school and starting the teen years are two troubled times for all kids. Parents are tasked with helping them navigate these difficult terrains. In the first letter for today, I heard from a mom who wants tips on helping a good teen keep up the good work in school. Praise and revising homework patterns come to mind. In the second letter, the mom of a 5 year old victim of bullying in kindergarten is frantic to stop her child from being bullied. Practicing helpful confrontation and also asking the classroom teacher to have the guidance counselor give an anti-bullying presentation to the class will go a long way toward keeping her precious away from bullying.

Both letters today are about making birthdays special for our kids. In the first, the parents set up a "free pass" birthday rule, where Alex was not punished for any rule infractions, but only on his birthday. Is this a good idea, a good way to make his birthday special? In the second letter, mom wants to know how to handle kid sister who expects to be a part of her big sister's sleepover birthday celebration, when big sister is saying "no way." Can mom find a win-win solution that makes the birthday celebration special for both children?

My first letter addresses adolescent issues with your teen who is really a good student, but seems to be slacking. Considering new homework rules and using the Principle of Responsible Freedom is the ticket. For my second letter, we switch to a petite 5 year old victim of bullying in her kindergarten class. Active listening, role-play, and proactive parenting will equip her to handle the bullying. Have other questions? Email me and I'll respond, both personally and on air. Blessings.

While kids usually accept that they have to go to school, they don't always want to. Even natural transitions can make going to school tough. In the first letter, a mom asks questions about whether and how to get her twins off to preschool. Following that letter, a desperate mom is frantic about her middle schooler's meltdown. Navigating these tough times with our kids is what being there for them is all about.

Being a new parent is the toughest job any of us ever have, for which we have NO training. With just our own parents for reference, we usually want to be just like them, or nothing like them. Navigating nighttime for newborns can be exhausting. Here, I offer some tips.

 

A basic questions all families face is this. Who's in charge? If you don't clearly define that you are in charge, your kids will run rough shod until you take control. Securing rules, boundaries, roles, and expectations is a start. Reward and consequence systems follow and families can be comforting and run smoothly for all.

Two letters I selected typify extremes of the spectrum. In the first, parents want to get back to their lives after being vaccinated. In the second, a little boy is devastated when his best friend is hospitalized. Being creative but cautious is the theme in each of these letters. While we can't let COVID-19 control our lives, we do need to take every precaution.

How to put together a fun birthday party for a 5 year old during the pandemic can stretch your creativity. This young mom of 3 preschoolers has her hands full. What could be available options? Next, a 13 year old young teen is bummed by the pandemic restrictions which, in her words, "suck." Helping her get out of her funk is the challenge. Do you have parenting questions for me? Email me.

More letters on parenting issues. My first mom is really concerned about her spiralling son whose senior year in high school is crashing because of the pandemic. Some thoughts, but also helping her consider getting him into therapy if things don't improve soon. Another letter is from "Freaked" who frets over balancing the needs and demands of her family, as they all stay-at-home. Encoourage detailed scheduling and balancing me-time with family demands.

A year has passed since the first coronavirus infections in the United States. We are all finding our "new normal." Many listeners have been emailing me with questions about adjusting to this new normal in our lives. Today starts a new series on my podcast, where I will be sharing with you some of these letters and my responses. Today, mom laments changes in how she will celebrate her 6 year old's birthday party. Also, another letter decries all the changes in family functioning for everybody to get things done. Message me when you have questions of your own. I will respond personally and within a subsequent podcast. Blessings, Dr. Jon Robinson

Many kids feel banished to their rooms and not come out until that homework is finished "young man!!" Home schoolers can feel isolated throughout their school day. As parents, it is vital that your kids know that you are there for them as they struggle to complete assignments. Draw on and draw in other resources to bolster your child's homework and home schooling experience. As they find more creative, engaging, unique, and interesting ways to tackle assignments, with your oversight, school becomes more of fun experience. Help your kids use all of the resources at their disposal. Be the sounding board. Active listen when you see them being stuck. Be the cheerleader with their efforts and their success. It takes a village to school your child.